Maximum Fun

I came to the conclusion that we were all put in this world to maximize our fun. We should all focus on having a good time. Of course, this will mean something different for everyone. People don't enjoy the same kinds of things. Some enjoy watching sports, while others would rather get a root canal. Some like the thought of spending a quiet evening at home, reading a very large book with small print. Others would rather watch the movie version of that story.

I believe that one should proactively take charge of their fun. For example, instead of going to the museum to look at wonderful works of art for your fun, go out and make your work of art. Don't watch. Do. Make your fun. Make it happen. Don't watch other people partying and having a good time. Party with them.

We don't live very long in this world. Average person lives life until about 70 years old. That's about 25,000 days, 1,500,000 hours. Most people spend about 500,000 of those hours sleeping. So, you have about a million hours to yourself to do as you please. I dunno about you, but I'm spending as many of those hours having fun. I do have a lot of fun writing these blogs and sharing my innermost thoughts to you people. So rest assured, that you will always have the option of reading the thoughts and discoveries of the Braz.

Some people say, well Joe Braza, you do have to work and do things that aren't fun. To that, I say - make it fun. Do whatever you think you have to do to make it fun. Challenge yourself at your job. Count how many times the boss frowns at you. Laugh about it. If you have access to a computer at your job, read this blog. I can't think of a much better way to pass the time than to learn the Way of the Braza. Damn! Sometimes I even amaze myself.

Alright kids. Enjoy your life.

Mega Millions

Today's Jackpot sits at an estimated $252 million and if you decided to take the cash option and after subtracting the 31% taxes, your share would still be around $109 million. At that point, you could pretty much buy a small third world country. I however have calculated that for that money, you could get over 5 .4 million lap dances. How long would that take? Well, on the average, a lap dance last for about 2 minutes and you multiplied that by 5.4 million. You're looking at 10.8 million minutes----> 180,000 hours ----> 7,500 days ----> 20 and a half years. And that's if you were to go 24/7 every single day without missing a day, no sleep, no time for anything else. So, say you decided to just get lap dances for only 8 hours a day (a full-time shift), it'd still take a little over 61 year to complete. Okay, so $1 "investment" for a chance at 61 years worth of lap dances? I think I can do that.

Fro Report

Hey guys. I understand that it's been a while since I've put up a blog. But, I've been busy with gambling, telling jokes, and trying to get some chicks. Some people say, Joe Braza's been spending his time with things that he fails at. So, I decided that I'm going to go ahead and post up the current Fro Report. The growth has been steady. People do comment that I look younger. Not sure if that's a compliment or not, but I'll take it.



As you can see, I'm currently at the stage where my hair can look un-groomed, but unfortunately it's not long enough to where it can be brushed into place. A few more weeks and you can see a more groomed up version of the Braz. But, for now, I promise to update this blog a lot more in the near future. Have fun today!

World Traveler

I have visited many countries: Brazil, Italy, Czech Republic, Croatia, Hungary, the Philippines. And I've seen most of the US when I was traveling a lot as a comedian. I truly enjoy traveling. A lot of people, when they travel, see the sights and do all of the touristy things. And although, I do force myself to do those things, I spend most of the time just hanging out. I go to a nightclub to listen to the local musicians.

But, I really enjoy the chaos of traveling. See, as humans, we settle into a routine very quickly. We crave stability, almost need stability, even when we have a self-destructive routine. When you travel, you get thrown off that routine. Again, I really enjoy that. I enjoy having no clue where anything is. I enjoy trying to communicate with people knowing nothing more than what I learned from 3 hours of reading a phrase book. I like having to eat foods that I don't normally eat. People look at me, knowing that I'm obviously not from around there. Street merchants call on me, excited to see a new person who they haven't relentlessly annoyed to buy their junk.

Life communicates to you through this chaos. Whenever I become aware of the chaos, I take a moment to feel the wonder of life. As human beings, we have the power to build big buildings, paint great art, play beautiful music. Many opportunities get thrown our direction, yet we refuse to take those opportunities because it would break up our routine. The chaos tries to tell you to seize control of your life and control of your thoughts. You can feel happier. It tells you to find a job that you really feel passion for, break up from a relationship that you don't really wanna be in, eliminate any activities that you feel ashamed of. I like traveling because it helps me to become aware of these possibilities. So, I'm a big advocate of traveling. Of course, you could do the same thing by reading this blog. But, yeah, traveling's fun.

Breathing

I have a pretty busy day today. I don't want to get into details, but I'm taking this time right now to enjoy the sensation of breathing. See, people don't really understand how good breathing feels until they've been in a situation where they can't breathe. What situations am I talking about? I'm talking about anytime you swim underwater, get choked by a hooligan, or your purposely withholding your breath when you're playing a drinking game of - who can hold their breath longer. And after they go through that situation where they couldn't breathe, they forget about how good it feels after a few moments.

But, I've spent a lot of time in hospitals as I have taken my dad back and forth for different medical procedures and surgeries. And, I whenever I would pass by and see other patients there, I often marveled at the ones who carried oxygen tanks on their wheelchairs or laid in bed, hooked up to a respirator. People take breathing for granted. We've taken so many breaths of oxygen throughout our life, we just assume that it will always be there. And it usually is.

So today, I enjoy the sensation of breathing. I pay homage to it. I use it to nourish all of my cells and to relieve any stress that I may have. Wait a minute, I'm the Braz. I don't have stress. Alright, have fun today, everyone.

No Excuses!

When I first started this blog, I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. I had no direction. I thought maybe I would just share some funny moments that happened throughout my day and life. I wanted to avoid writing a positive "You can do anything you set your mind to" type blog. We already have a bunch of those dudes. And anyone that meets the Braz would never describe the Braz as just another dude. Joe Braza leads all who follow to happiness. But, I realized that maybe you come here to get some positivity out of your life. Maybe, you seek the knowledge and the wisdom of the Braz to better your life. So here we go:

Today, you will adopt the mantra - No Excuses!
Say it with me - NO EXCUSES!

Today, you will not accept any excuses for not being the best that you can be.
You will not allow yourself to accept anything but the best things in life.
You will not let anything prevent you from doing the things you have passion for.
You will not make excuses for how your life has turned out so far.
You will not wait for someone or something to make you happy.
You will not quit.

You will do your best everyday.
You will learn from all your mistakes.
You will follow your passion.
You will follow your passion right now.
You will make things happen.
You will feel happiness by any means necessary.


I guarantee that if you adopt this attitude, you will feel real happiness. No one can stop you, just like no one can stop the Braz. Be happy, my friends!

Gout, but not out

I made my decision to revert back to a vegetarian lifestyle partially because I suffered from gout attacks in my past. For those of you who don't know who don't know what gout is, it's basically a very painful arthritic condition. I'm talking real pain. Imagine taking a handful of needles and jamming them into the joints of your feet, ankles, knees, or toes. Every year from about 2002 to about 2008, I would go through at least one 2 to 3 month period where I basically was confined to my bed or the couch. And I would lay there in pain. There were times when I felt pain just from the weight of a blanket. After going through this several times, I can truly say that I do not wish this condition on my worst enemy, not that the Braz has any enemies. Well, you got the point.

What makes this condition hard to cope with at times is the fact that there is no cure. There isn't even really a treatment. See, gout's caused by a high levels of uric acid in the body. And the way to get rid of uric acid is to pee it out. And while you're peeing it out, you have to eliminate foods and drinks that contain uric acid in them, things like alcohol, soft drinks, beans, asparagus, cauliflower, mushrooms, spinach, seafood, and yes -----> meat.

Now, I haven't suffered from a major attack since early 2008 (knock on wood). But, at this moment, I am experiencing a very mild attack in my right foot. I'm still able to walk around and do what I need to do, but with a limp and a slight pain, more like a slight irritation. Like, you will not see me do any kind of dancing or running around the neighborhood naked. But, if I had to do those things, I could but with a very disgusted look on my face. I'm drinking lots of water and have gone to the bathroom about 50 times today. At that rate, I usually only wash my hands every 8th time I use the bathroom.

Although this condition can be very painful, I do enjoy a few aspects of it. Whenever I go through an attack, I get to do a lot of thinking and resting without anyone bothering me to do some stupid errands or favors. This downtime allows me to really relax and focus in on the important things in life - love, family, friends, community. Of course, I initially spend a certain amount of time feeling sorry for myself, but then I realize that, there's a world out there where millions of people suffer everyday, throughout their lives, from physical, mental, and psychological ailments. My suffering lasts no more than a couple of months. But, because I do suffer, I feel one with them. And, I want to ease their suffering. And if you're one of those who's suffering, I want to ease your suffering. How? By being the lovable, huggable, and truly wonderful Joe Braza. That's right!

Back to Basics

Last Thursday, July 30th, I went back to being a vegetarian. I had stopped being a vegetarian when I visited Eastern Europe, specifically Prague, Czech Republic, back in Fall 2006. For those of you who don't know, Czechs aren't very well known for their culinary excellence. And, pretty much, all of their dishes contain some kind of meat. The only thing that I could eat was this dish called - Smažený sýr. It's basically a cheese dish that I got tired of after a couple of days. So, when I finally got back to Italy, I went buckwild and ate a pepperoni pizza. Not, one of my proudest moments, but I just wanted to eat something edible.

When I got back to the States, I had fully intended to revert back to my vegetarian lifestyle, but I didn't. I enjoyed the convenience of eating anything. Restaurants and my family don't really cater to vegetarians. They try, but you look at any menu and on the average, vegetarians have about 10-15% of the menu to available to them. So, I just suspended my vegetarian lifestyle indefinitely.

Fast forward to last week. I decided to go back to being a vegetarian after eating some tacos from Del Taco. I literally wanted to shoot a hole in my stomach to relieve my digestive system from processing that meal. I mean, yeah, cheap meal and all, but it lacked fulfillment. I hated myself for eating Del Taco, but I knew there was more to it.

I became a vegetarian in the first place for better health and because I cared for our environment. In case you're unaware, it takes 16 times more resources to produce a pound of meat than it takes to produce a pound of grain. These resources include water, gasoline, feed, etc. I believe that if only 10% of the US population converted into a vegetarian diet, we could severely reduce our dependence on foreign oil. And, if you look at gas prices these days, you would know that, that wouldn't suck.

So, I'm back guys.